You Matter Too: How to Support a Loved One With a Chronic Illness

Supporting a loved one with a chronic illness can be one of the toughest jobs on the planet. Day in and day out, you have to watch your loved one suffer. You may experience helplessness because you wish you could take it away. You may experience grief because the life you knew or hoped for no longer exists. You may experience frustration because they may not be handling it the way you think is best. You may experience exhaustion due to the lack of sleep spent worrying about them. You may experience secondary trauma or compassion fatigue due to the illness taking over your life as well.

Yes, you are not the one actually dealing with the illness, but you are being affected as well. It’s important that you take care of YOU and recognize that you matter in it all. If you are unwell and your tank is empty, you can’t be the best support system you desire to be.

Here are a few tips on how to support a loved one living with a chronic illness:
-Support them in their decisions: Sometimes their opinions and wishes on how to tackle the illness may be different than what you think is best. At the end of the day, all they need is someone to support them in their journey.
-Send thoughtful words of encouragement: Don’t underestimate the power of words. -Maintain open communication: Ask them how they could best be supported. Sometimes what they need from you isn’t what you had in mind.
-Take care of yourself: As mentioned above, it’s important to take care of you. Implementing a regular self-care routine will allow you to have more space to care for them. You’ve got to fill up your tank too.
-Seek out a counselor: If there is nothing else you take away from this message, remember this. Don’t forget your feelings and your experience matters to. Secondary trauma and compassion fatigue are very real. It’s important to enter a space where your fear, concerns, and frustrations can be voiced and process. You desire support too.